remember when half of tumblr simultaneously disregarded the law of conservation of mass because of a gif with a chocolate bar on it
Okay, I know it wouldn’t work but I’m dumb so I tried, and now that you’ve made me waste 15 minutes of my life, eXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO ME.
The pieces actually grow bigger as they slide.
I will fucking murder the pieces of shit who did this.
(Source: shalrath, via zedzedtops)
ma’am when i said freestyle i did not mean rap. this is a swimming competition please turn down the beat. ma’am.
Do you ever just like flex your foot wrong and it cramps and you’re just like this is it, this is how it ends
(Source: pheberoni, via fuckyeahloldemort)
"you just ate"
i want to get so good at giving sly digs that you dont even realize i insulted you until like a week later when you randomly start crying while eating breakfast
okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!clock:
they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now